The flickering progress bar of the video file— SISTER_HUMILIATES_YOU.mp4 —felt like a countdown to social extinction.
"Meet Leo," Maya’s voice-over whispered, dripping with mock sympathy. "The guy who thinks he’s ready for varsity football, but still asks Mr. Narwhal for permission to go to sleep." SISTER HUMILIATES YOU.mp4
The scene cut to a montage of Leo’s "greatest hits." There was the time he’d tripped over his own cleats during tryouts, edited in slow motion to a circus soundtrack. Then, a clip of him practicing his "cool guy" hair flip in the bathroom mirror, complete with heart-eye emojis and a caption that read: Main Character Energy (In His Own Mind). The flickering progress bar of the video file—
The video opened with a high-definition close-up of Leo’s face from three nights ago. He was fast asleep, mouth slightly open, cuddling a giant, plush narwhal he’d kept since he was six. The lighting was professional—Maya must have used her ring light. Narwhal for permission to go to sleep