Ted felt the world shrink. He looked at his hands. They were shaking. He looked at Elaine. She looked terrified. He stood up. "I can," Ted said, his voice cracking only slightly. "Surely you can't be serious," Elaine gasped.
The situation was dire. The autopilot—a literal inflatable doll named Otto—was doing his best, but he was currently smoking a cigarette and looking out the window.
As the plane began a terrifying, zig-zagging descent toward Chicago, Ted grabbed the yoke. Outside, the Mayo Clinic (a literal clinic made of mayonnaise) flashed by. The control tower was a zoo; Steve McCroskey was already picking the wrong week to quit every vice known to man. subtitle Airplane!.1980.1080p.BluRay.x264-[YTS.LT]
Elaine, the lead flight attendant and the woman Ted had followed onto this doomed bird to win back, burst into the cabin. "Is there anyone on board who can fly a plane?"
Suddenly, the intercom crackled. "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking. We have a small problem. It seems the fish course was... adventurous." Ted felt the world shrink
Ted gripped the doorframe of the cockpit, his shadow lengthening against the instrument panel. "I am serious. And don't call me Shirley."
With Otto the inflatable pilot grinning beside him and Elaine shouting instructions, Ted ignored the sweat pouring off his brow like a localized monsoon. He pulled back on the stick, the tires screamed against the tarmac, and Flight 209 slammed onto the runway, shearing off the landing gear and coming to a rest just feet away from a confused group of airport firefighters. He looked at Elaine
In the cockpit, Captain Oveur and Roger Murdock (who looked suspiciously like Kareem Abdul-Jabbar) were slumped over their controls, their faces a sickly shade of green. Dr. Rumack, a man who took everything—literally everything—at face value, emerged from the galley.